Parting shots

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Columbus?
A: Ann Arbor: 189 miles

Q: Why do Ohio State grads drive with their degree on their dash?
A: So they can park in the handicapped spaces.

Q: What does the average Ohio State student get on his SAT?
A: Drool

Q: How do you know when a Ohio State fan is about to say something smart?
A: When he starts his sentence with "A Wolverine fan once told me...."

Q: What's the difference between the Buckeyes and a dollar bill?
A: You always get four quarters out of a dollar.

Q: What's the difference between a Ohio State fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q: What is the difference between a litter of puppies and Ohio State fans?
A: The puppies stop whining after 6 weeks.

Q: Why is ice no longer available at Ohio State football games?
A: Because the only student who knew the recipe finally graduated.
Q: What did the Ohio State graduate say to the Michigan graduate?
A: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"

Q: How do you get an Ohio State graduate off your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: How can you tell when the Ohio State Buckeyes are going to run the football?
A: The back leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes.

Q: How many Ohio State football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. But he gets three hours credit for the course.

Q: What is the difference between Cheerios and the Ohio State Buckeyes?
A: Cheerios belong in a bowl.

Q: What's the difference between a Buckeye cheerleader and an elephant?
A: About 20 pounds.

Q: How do you make up the 20-pound difference?
A: Feed the elephant!

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Ohio State campus?
A: A visitor.